“You’ve got your mother in a whirl
She’s not sure if you’re a boy or a girl
Hey babe, your hair’s alright
Hey babe, let’s go out tonight”
Welcome! I’m thrilled that we’re both finally here.
This blog has been years in the making. So many thoughts – so little confidence. I think studying creative writing has given me the nudge that I desperately needed.
After building the site exactly how I wanted, I sat down on the couch with my MacBook Pro in my lap, determined to write the best post ever. Then, just like a cliché, I stared at the screen. This lasted a very long time. In fact, I have written and re-written this post at least ten times. I begin — read through what I’ve written — decide it’s awful, mindless drivel, not worthy and downright boring — tap-tap-tap-taaaaaaaaaaap — delete key in overdrive — then start again. Just now I thought I had a decent paragraph, then the doorbell rang and Ziggy went off, barking and spluttering as she ran down the hallway, inciting a riot with the neighbourhood dogs. Thanks Alinta Energy! When I sat back down and read what I had written — tap-tap-tap-taaaaaaaaaaap.
Why?
I have an overwhelming need for this post to be perfect. It’s my first one you see. What if people hate it? What if it’s boring? What if my site is a lonely tumbleweed in the dystopian underworld of the data space we call the internet?
That’s a lot of pressure.
Why do we do it? Why do we second guess ourselves? Life is hard enough. Doubting our abilities just adds to the everyday pressure we put on ourselves. It’s time to stop.
So I’ve decided to kick it to the curb — the pressure that is, and just write. It’s what I love doing, after all.
My brain is constantly firing neurons – up and down, left to right and even front to back. I picture it like the code in the Matrix, except it’s not an artificial reality. It’s my reality. My mind isn’t imprisoned by a breed of machines that feed off mankind’s body heat. It’s imprisoned by my own desire for perfection.
Wake up!
This data racing back and forth in my mind creates havoc with my verbal skills. Sometimes when I speak, the messages get all jumbled in their urgent attempt to be set free and the words come out sounding like Eminem in reverse.
That’s why I prefer to write. My crazy thoughts can be rearranged neatly, slotted into their rightful places. Sentences — a structure of logical relationships. That's what writer Stanley Fish says. Me, well, a simple sentence is a subject, a verb, a noun or pronoun, modifiers and an independent clause. Perfectly sensible. Amazingly satisfying. That’s the beauty of writing. You can say anything you want as long as it makes sense. Or does it need to?
Writers create worlds that defy the oral language.
I’m a writer. That’s the only justification I need.
So enjoy my site. Read through my posts. Check out my short stories. Comment if you like.
Together, let’s make words happen.